ABISH MATHEW LIVE: COMEDY SHOW REEL
At PM4K, taking a break from Project Management, here’s some out-n-out comedy by New Delhi’s most famous RJ… Abish Mathew.
ABISH MATHEW LIVE: COMEDY SHOW REEL
CHICKEN CROSSED ROAD
((POSTING ON A LIGHTER NOTE))
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Three very different answers given to the same question.
Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
Colonel Sanders: Damn, I missed one!
Project Management Consultants UK (PMC-UK): Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. PMC-UK, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), PMC-UK helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. PMC-UK convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with PMC-UK with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergic with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully building and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. PMC-UK helped the chicken change to become more successful.
[Mathew@PM4K]
PM4K QUOTES 007: WHY BOTHER PLANNING?
((QUOTES @ PM4K))
“A badly planned project will take three times longer than expected – a well planned project only twice as long as expected.”
[Mathew@PM4K]
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
((POSTING ON A LIGHTER NOTE))
An automotive company hired some cannibals as engineers. After the interview selection process the cannibals are simply told not to eat anybody and to use the company restaurant, to which they agree. Some time goes by and the HR director comes to the cannibals and enquires if any of them have seen the receptionist. They all look very bewildered and reject any claims of knowledge. When the HR Director leaves, the head cannibal looks around and points out to one of the other cannibals "You … it was you wasn’t it". The accused cannibal let out a shameful nod and the head cannibal yells at him and say "You are an idiot, we have been eating Project Managers without anyone missing them for weeks …. why did you go and eat the receptionist!"
[Mathew@PM4K]
TRAITS OF A ‘HALO EFFECT’ PROJECT MANAGER (001)
Thanks to the unavoidable ‘Halo Effect’, more often than not, projects ends up getting assigned to a Project Manager incompetent enough to even plan a personal vacation successfully. Taking a break from the PM BASICS series at PM4K, Mathew presents to you TRAITS OF A ‘HALO EFFECT’ PROJECT MANAGER (001).
You know the Project Manager knows squat (nothing) about Project Management:
1. when he/she looks at ‘Change’ philosophically and says, "Lets not fight change. It’s the only thing constant".
2. when he/she sees a bar (Gantt) chart and thinks, "Ahhh my Project Management Plan is in place!!!".
3. when the only feedback he/she has about a WBS to his/her business analyst is, "Interesting!!! I didn’t know you like drawing".
4. when he/she finds ‘MOVING TARGETS’ (unclear project scope) enjoyable enough to do anything to avoid it.
5. when the only cost tracking he/she does is tracking to ensure that his/her salary makes its way to the bank account.
Apologies for not sugar coating this post and letting it be direct and smack in the middle of the eye.
Keep your eyes open. You’ll spot one (Halo Effect Project Manager), when you see one 
[Mathew@PM4K]
[WHO AM I?]
A PMP CERTIFIED PROJECT MANAGER WHO SERIOUSLY LOOKS AT THE HUMOROUS SIDE OF THE CHALLENGES FACED IN THE PROFESSION OF PROJECT MANAGEMENT.
CONNECT WITH Mathew ON:
WHO AM I?
"Welcome to the LIGHTER SIDE of PROJECT MANAGEMENT"
